Its A New Day

Happy 4th Of July and what a wonderful start i had at midnight to 3 am.
  --> My lovely Sarah Backhaus and I went and saw Hancock (amazing, hilarious movie!) at 10:30 pm after we both got off work at the wonderful Hy-Vee. We were running late, thanks to facebook chat and people talking to me as i was about to leave, sooo.....haha we ran from my car to the theater with 2 minutes to buy tickets. YES! SCORE! We were very proud of ourselves. We made it into the movie right when it started! After the movie we discovered we were hungry so we went to IHOP. All along, we were talking, i mean really talking about good, bad, ugly, amazing things in our lives. I love Sarah so much be/c i feel like i can take my time with my words, not be rushed, and that i actually get a word in edgewise. With other friends, i feel like i can't fully talk be/c i do do take pauses and take my time, well some people butt in and i lose my train of thought. I got out a lot of what has been going on lately with some people and upcoming events, such as going under for my first surgery of getting my wisdom teeth out! ahh! With all these college visits coming up, and the surgery, i have realized that the stability i use to have with someone, i miss now. I love sharing my life with someone, sharing myself, stories, memories, and events like these with someone. I don't have that now, and for some reason it is really getting to me. Anyways...Sarah and i went to IHOP, were there for like a couple hours eating away sinful goodies of food and talking about everything. I took her home, got gas, facebook, and then decided to read the Bible. This was around 3am take you and i was very tired and i couldn't really get into it be/c of that fact, but i still tried.

My faith has been shaken be/c of events in my life recently. I know it shouldn't have been, but it has. So i have been ignoring God, not praying/talking to him, and just living my life without Him per se. I know now i can't do this any longer. Living this life without Him like he was months ago when i was really committed to Him. I need His guidance and I just want to do what He feels is right for me; like going to the right school and figuring out what to do as a career (chemistry major or wedding planner). I can't go on living this life preaching how much i love God and how wonderful He is when its hard for me to believe it. I need to get focused once again. I need God as my stability. Though it will be hard, i know i can do it. I just need to get off my lazy bum haha. I need to stop cursing, get my emotions under control, deal with people that need to be dealt with, draw closer to God and friends, and become myself again. Lately i have felt that i don't know who i am anymore be/c of my actions and cursing. I knew who i was months ago, but since events have happen with my faith being shaken, i have faltered. I need to get back to that person i was; who was secure with herself. That is the task at hand. I have inspirations for this need for change who is Andrew.

My first boyfriend (from 1st grade - 3rd grade, i moved in 3rd grade) from my hometown of Columbia, MO. I found him on facebook a couple of days ago and am still in shock by him. He has turned out to be such an amazing christian and guy. I had no idea what type of person he would become, and now i know and it is amazing. He told me his life story, his struggles and everything. I cried tears of happiness afterwards be/c i was so proud and happy for him. His dedication to God is inspiring and  made me think you Jesse Dillon. .

Okay, well i would continue to talk, but i need to shower and get going. I have plans with a friend that involves shopping! woot! Then BBQ and fireworks later!

Bye for now,
Ashley "A-Train" Miller

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

i hate school. school = crap

i saw an old friend who graduated last year today after i got off work. It was sooo awesome to see him! He told me that the college classes in high school are harder than college. college = easier. Hopefully we will get to hang out this weekend, since i won't have any plans.

I would have plans with nick, but everything has changed. After almost four months (thursday) of dating and now his parents become psychopathic control freaks. I am now not able to drive him. (yeah, we are going to do something while i am driving from his hosue to mine or something) Basically, they don't trust us together and they don't trust us individually. Since that happened, my dad has said i am not able to go over to his house be/c by the way his parents don't trust me and  how they are treating me, it looks like i am a whore and my dad isn't going to let them reat me that way. Basically, his parents think we are too young, too serious. Is there an age limit when someone should fall in love? no. It is against the law to know you have already found your future spouse in high school? no. They are scared. Scared that he is going to get hurt and the fact that i am 2 yrs older. What the trash!?!? I would never do anything to hurt nick, never. None of this makes sense. All i want is to be with him and see him. We are only allowed to see each other 2 days a week, 20minutes on the phone. ugh, so stupid! But i am going to see him on his breaks wed, fri, and sat. They don't know, and i don't care. They want to break us up by limiting our time together, well that is not going to work. It will only make our love stronger. We will get through this together. Together.

whew, i needed to get that down, lol. I love him, and that is all that matter. God is numero uno and nick is numero dos.

it will be december on friday. yes! the semester is almost over with! hopefully secnond will fly by!

pray for nick and i

~~Love always,
   ~~Ashley